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On this page: 1
Members: 7, Newest: sipakom
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ENJOY THE CAPS
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Saturday 14 February 2009 - 12:37:05
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HIGHSPEED INTERNET, HOW I LOVE THEE
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by GORGY
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HIGHSPEED INTERNET
OH, HOW GOOD IT FEELS.
I'VE BEEN USING MY SISTERS HIGHSPEED FOR THE PAST COUPLE DAYS, AND ITS WONDERFUL. I WISH I COULD BATHE IN ITS GLORY.
NOW, AS SOME OF YOU MAY KNOW, I CANNOT GET HIGHSPEED INTERNET AT MY PLACE OF RESIDENCE. ALL HIGHSPEED LINES STOP A SHORT DISTANCE AWAY. OF COURSE, I CAN GO TO MY FRIENDS HOUSE WHO LIVES BUT A MILE AWAY, AND HE HAS GLORIOUS INTERNETS.
BUT NO.
I AM CURSED TO LIVE THE LIFE OF A DIALUP USER.
ALL MY PRECIOUS GIFTS SHALL GO TO WASTE.
DOOMED TO DOWNLOAD AT NO MORE THAN 2 KB/S. DOOMED.
BUT THIS HIGHSPEED, SHE WANTS ME. SHE WANTS ME TO USE HER. ABUSE HER. RAPE, PLUNDER, AND PILLAGE HER.
WILL I EVER GET THE OPPORTUNITY? A FEW SHORT DAYS VISITING MY FAMILY IS NOT ENOUGH TIME TO PERFORM THESE PIRATEY ACTS.
SO, I ASK, HIGHSPEED INTERNET, WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE?
OF COURSE, OUR LOVE CAN ONLY LAST A DAY. AFTER TODAY, I WILL RESUME LIVING THE LIFE OF A DIALUP USER.
ALL I ASK IS FOR THIS ONE DAY TOGETHER. ONE MAGICAL DAY. I WOULD PLUCK THE MOON OUT OF THE SKY TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
OF COURSE, PLUCKING THE MOON FROM THE SKY MAY ENTAIL THE USE OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS, AND THAT MAY NOT END WELL.
BUT I WOULD DO IT NONETHELESS, ALL FOR YOU, MY DEAREST HIGHSPEED.
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Saturday 03 January 2009 - 18:41:14
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MC WHAT?
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by GORGY
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AND ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT THEY USED HORSE MEAT.
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Wednesday 31 December 2008 - 13:33:39
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THE MYSTICAL BACON BUTTON
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by GORGY
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PUSH BUTTON, RECEIVE BACON. PUSH BACON, RECEIVE BUTTON! ENJOY YOUR BACON!
Read more...
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Wednesday 31 December 2008 - 13:30:31
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OH, I'D HIT THAT.
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by GORGY
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LET'S GO CLUBBIN'!
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Wednesday 31 December 2008 - 03:10:39
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SEEMS RIGHT TO ME
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by GORGY
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HE GETS AN 'A' FOR EFFORT
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Wednesday 31 December 2008 - 03:02:37
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SHE'S A WOMAN
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by GORGY
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WHY IS SHE WRONG? WELL, THAT'S SIMPLE.
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Wednesday 31 December 2008 - 02:59:53
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STOP DROP AND ROFL
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by GORGY
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THE ACT OF ROFL'ING COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE IF YOU WERE TO CATCH FIRE. JUST REMEMBER TO ROFL, FORGET STOPPING, DROPPING AND ROLLING.
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Wednesday 31 December 2008 - 01:51:17
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THE GLORY OF CAPS LOCK
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by GORGY
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THE SIREN SONG OF CAPS LOCK CALLS TO ME. I HEAR IT EVERYWHERE I GO. THE CAPS BUTTON ON MY PHONE, THE CAPS BUTTON ON MY KEYBOARD. I HEAR IT EVERYWHERE. ALWAYS BEHIND SOME OBSTACLE THAT CANNOT BE OVERCOME. ONE DAY, I SHALL FIND THE TRUE SPIRIT OF CAPS LOCK.
ONCE I FIND THE MAJESTIC CREATURE, HOW WILL I REACT? POSSIBLE SCENARIOS I'VE ENVISIONED INCLUDE:
- TAMING THE BEAST, TURNING IT INTO MY PET, MY BEST FRIEND.
- SOME OF THE MORE IGNORANT PEOPLE MAY CONSIDER DOGS TO BE FAITHFUL AND MANS BEST FRIEND. THESE PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS WHO SHOULD DIE IN A PAINFUL MANNER.
- SIMPLY CAPTURING IT AND LOCKING IT IN A CAGE. WHAT COULD I DO WITH IT IN A CAGE?
- THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND WOULD BE BATTLES TO THE DEATH. I WOULD WATCH AS CAPS LOCK WRECKS ALL THAT DARE OPPOSE IT.
- I COULD SELL IT TO A ZOO, OR A PRIVATE COLLECTOR OF ALL THINGS AMAZING.
- PERHAPS I COULD START MY OWN CIRCUS AND/OR FREAKSHOW, WITH CAPS LOCK BEING THE MAIN ATTRACTION
- THE FINAL, AND MOST APPEALING OPTION, WOULD BE TO SIMPLY MAKE SWEET, DELICATE, COMPLETELY HETEROSEXUAL LOVE TO CAPS LOCK. OUR SOULS WOULD BE ONE, WE WOULD BE TOGETHER FOR ETERNITY.
AFTER ALL, MY HUMAN BODY MAY PERISH, BUT I KNOW THAT I WILL FOREVER LIVE ON IN THE SPIRIT OF CAPS LOCK.
[[THIS HAS BEEN A HEARTFELT MESSAGE BROUGHT TO YOU BY GORGY]]
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Guests: 2, Members: 0 ...
most ever online: 12
(Members: 0, Guests: 12) on 28 Feb : 04:05
Members: 7
Newest member: sipakom
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- sipakom
[ 4 days, 5 hours, 17 mins, 13 secs ago ] - 00
[ 1 week, 5 days, 5 hours, 6 mins, 26 secs ago ] - CUNTEATER420
[ 3 months, 1 week, 6 days, 16 hours, 1 min, 19 secs ago ] - GORGY
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[ 4 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 53 mins, 54 secs ago ] - Perma
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[ 6 months, 1 day, 6 hours, 59 mins, 20 secs ago ]
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